When you think something is unjust, when you feel you need to advocate for your child, do it. Don’t hesitate. Pick up the phone, put pen to paper or send an email and fight for what is right. Recently I got myself in hotwater doing just that. I fought for equality within an organization that is currently all boy and is transitioning to more of a family approach and including girls. Slowly at first but by 2019 sometime it’ll include Girls. I have 2 boys in the All-Boy program and was excited that my daughter could join her brothers. As a family it would be a tremendous opportunity to be in once place on one night at one function, together.
Last week that all changed when news came out that in fact my daughter can join the organization but that we as a family, as a sub-organizational unit will have to start a whole new group that will be all-girl. I was beyond upset. My daughter was beyond upset. She had wanted to join her brothers, be equal to her brothers. That was not the message sent down from the heads of the organization.
This is how I found myself in hot-water. I wrote a letter and I included some loose quotes from the local head of the organization who I had heard in a public forum mention that in fact my daughter could be with her brothers and that this organization in it’s future (years down the road) would eventually become more progressive and would someday be co-ed. I wrote that in my letter. Mind you I had written 2 letters previously to the local head of the organization with no response. So a few days later I composed a letter to the National organization and hit send. No sooner had I done that, I suddenly got emails from the gentleman I quoted. He wanted to sit and talk with me.
I was being called to the principal’s office and it was not a good feeling. I felt awkward and fired up and defensive. I did nothing wrong and I know I didn’t even today. I, out of courtesy, sat down with him and brought a friend who is also a parent in the organization and we sat and we talked. It actually went quite well. I am purposefully not stating what the organization is because I was asked NOT to mention the man I spoke with in public ever again. I still may but for now I will be respectful of our conversation because it turns out- he agrees with me but has to as a professional “tow the company line.”
I want my daughter to be fully included in clubs and organizations. I think the time has come to stop having genders be separate. Apparently there is a lot of research for girls and boys at the teen years to be separated but all I have found is that this research only applies to academic learning and I value that. Girls do learn differently than boys and vice versa but in a youth program that is not academic centered, I don’t understand why boys and girls need to be separated to benefit best from the program.
NO matter what, I will continue to fight for the rights of my daughter and also the rights of my sons. I value my sons having formed great bonds with other boys and that will not change if their sister and her friends join the organization. So whatever your issue is- fight for it. It will get you invited to the table, it will get you involved in the conversation and that is all I wanted. I wanted to be heard.