Loss

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Losing a pet is a huge loss. For us it means losing the furry friend who used to wake us up in the morning. It means losing our cuddle buddy and the one who got us off the couch to walk around the block or two. For me it means so much more because Snickers was my girl. She was my buddy.  The past 8-10 weeks we bonded more than ever. She was diagnosed with a huge mass on her spleen back in November. She did not have a good prognosis. So when she started needing to go out multiple times during the night, I was her companion. At first and for most of the time, I actually walked her outside and sometimes even around the block at all hours of the early morning, 1am, 3am, 4am, I walked her. In her last 2 weeks I let her out back and that was sufficient. She still needed to get up often and the last week nearly hourly. I didn’t mind at all. I had gotten used to no sleep, extra coffee to keep alert during the day and thank goodness for the Hallmark channel as I could watch 3-5 movies a night!

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Snickers loved her friends. She went to doggie daycare at Doggie Playhouse in Palatine 2 days a week. We quickly made those days Tuesdays and Fridays so she could be with Sheila (pictured above at daycare). Sheila not only hung out with her, she loved her. Snickers began to follow her everywhere. Sheila took her to go see the other dogs, to help feed the other dogs. Wherever Sheila went, Snickers followed. This was a special place, it is a special place. It was sort of appropriate that Snickers got to say her final goodbyes to Sheila on Friday. I got a call at Noon that she wasn’t doing well. I knew from seeing Sheila and Robin at daycare when I went and got her that it wasn’t good. Snickers lingered for one last kiss and we left. I had to run and do my part time driving job while we waited for our 2pm vet appointment. The boy in the car said “oh she’s so cute!” and she was, all curled up in her blanket. I knew it was the last car ride my dear girl would have.

We arrived at the vet’s at 2pm and she was gone by 2:20pm. She walked in, tail between her legs, head down and barely able to walk. She’d lost 10lbs or more- it was hard to tell with the mass being twice or more in size from when they’d seen her on the day of diagnosis. She was pale, her gums were white. I knew, they knew. She crossed over the rainbow bridge and ironically woofed, and snickered as she went. I wonder who met her first? Tyke? Scout? Both of them? For the kids, it’s hardest. They have had 3 losses in a little over 2 years. Tyke died in October 2015, Scout at the end of September 2016 and Snickers just 15 months later. It’s tough. Meghan is angry- “Why do all our pets have to die?” Cole is understanding but said “I never want to get another dog again, we have bad luck with dogs.” and Quinn said “well it wasn’t unexpected Mom but it’s sad.” I’m a mess. I’m not sure if it’s because she died or because of the lack of sleep I got over the past 8-10 weeks. Since Friday I have slept 2 nights. 8 hours one night and 10 last night and I feel worse than when I only got 3 hrs of sleep. I wonder if the adrenaline rush is gone. The adrenaline that kept me awake and on alert is gone. I am able to now rest and sleep and my body needs to reboot.

No matter what, loss is hard. I’m glad we’ve had the 5 dogs we’ve had in our life. Lucky, Cedar, Tyke, Scout and Snickers. I am open to getting another dog but I shook on it with John and we will not be getting another one. I understand his logic- we have 3 kids who are active – and we are gone a lot of weekends and we just don’t have the time. Had it not been for doggie daycare we wouldn’t have been able to have Snickers. There were many Saturdays we put her in daycare for the day while we did our weekend thing or we’d board her overnight so she was able to run around with her doggie friends while we ran around. I am forever grateful to have had 5 dogs though. They really did make up a huge part of our lives. I loved them all and we will someday see them all again.

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