Healing is an important part of adulthood. (trigger warning) We must overcome adversity and move beyond the pains of our teen years. I think it’s time to get rid of the shame for what some of us have done to ourselves in the past and hopefully we aren’t doing it anymore but if you are self-harming, or not eating, or whatever it is you might be doing please read. You are never alone.
I grew up like anyone else. I was a bit awkward- never popular- and I dealt with some trauma. As a 10 year old I was sexually abused and I did not tell anyone instead I began to reduce my food intake at age 13 and I truly had no idea what it was I was doing. I was not diagnosed with anorexia but I can tell you I went from 145 pound 5’6 to a skinny 111 pound girl. I would exercise constantly. I would drink skim milk til it was going out of style- I felt full and that was all that matter. I didn’t have an ounce of fat on me in the fall of 1986. By November I was hospitalized for threatening to kill myself and they forced me to eat there and I began the long road to recovery. The Anorexia Workbook is a book that might prove useful if you suffer from Anorexia.
There are many ways to to self harm. Self Injury is a real thing. I personally do not think I did that. I never cut myself but I was self injuring by not eating and I recall I used to peel my toe-nails off as a small child when I was upset. I know it hurt so I guess that was a form of self injury. What I read about now is kids/teens/young women who are using small knives or razors and carving into their bodies to express how much pain they are in. If you self- injure , you are not alone but please do get help. This book on Self Injury can help.
Whatever it is that you do to yourself or whatever reason you feel shame or unhappiness in your life know you are not alone. Talk to someone, get help. Call someone. It’s never too late to heal from the troubles in our childhoods and it’s amazing where the world can take us when we are healed. Moving on doesn’t mean you forget the pain of the past but it does mean you are healing and giving yourself the opportunity to live.
Find some helpful resources here.