Taking time for yourself can be hard to do. Sometimes you have to schedule it in order to set aside some precious time. A few days ago a friend asked if I was free for coffee this morning. Normally I would have said I was busy because I have so much on my plate but this time I said “sure” and I am so glad I did. Sitting down with 2 friends, enjoying a scone and a much needed cup of caffeine was the best thing I could have done for myself today. We laughed, I cried (yeah-that’s me lately) and we had a great time.
Taking time for yourself is so important. My kids didn’t perish while I was gone. Heck it’s summer break and they were asleep for most of the time anyway. When I checked in they groggily answered the phone and assured me all was well and indeed when I came home all was fine.
In life we have to dedicate moments for us. Especially stay at home moms or moms in general. We tend to take on a lot of the care-giving and a lot of the organization of the home front. It’s hard work and it’s ok to make time for US! I have slowly learned that taking a night here and there and a morning here and there really does replenish me.
That is not enough time for yourself though. You need to carve out time to exercise, and eat well too and if you are in a relationship it also means carving out time for your loved ones as well. I find that it is necessary to put things on a calendar. Date night doesn’t happen by itself. My husband and I are carving out one night a month just for US. I am carving out time to walk our dog solo to just be with my thoughts.
None of this happened over night. For me it was hard to make time. We have 3 kids, we have no family in the state we are in and I haven’t had a babysitter since we moved here (3 3/4 years ago). Our kids are now old enough to stay home alone for a few hours and that is all it takes to carve out some time. I wake up early in the summer and can get my dog walk in before the kids wake up. It’s easier to get together with friends over the summer (especially since I have some teacher friends) and even those that work full-time- we can hang out an evening here and there.
I am realizing that my kids will be home with me less than they will be away. Only 7 more years til the youngest is 18. I need to invest in my friends NOW so that I have friends when they are gone or don’t need me as much. I need to regain my identity. I’m not just their mom- I’m Allie- and I need to get her back.
I hope that you figure out way before I did that YOU are important. It’s liberating to realize that we need the support of friends to get thru life’s challenges. I’m so glad I have mine.